Before we dive in, it is important to note that there are some people who have “screw free” sex lives, and they never want to change that. For them, casual sex is a fad, a way to introduce one person to another without anything deeper than (potentially) awkwardness or awkward silence.
The other part of casual sex is the feeling of being “free” from something or someone. You’re no longer bound to serious commitment, or to a romantic relationship that has been restraining you, and you may (or may not) be secretly pushing away your romantic feelings. Sure, the guilt of casual sex can eat at you, but the truth is, you’re free to do what you want, when you want — and without some serious pull, no one will do anything about it.
Having casual sex can be empowering, liberating, and most importantly, pleasurable. Staring into the bedazzled eyes of someone as they climb on top of you is a rush for any sensual being.
Does casual sex make you fat?
According to a study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, casual sex does not necessarily lead to weight gain. The researchers looked at more than 3,000 college students who reported on their sexual behaviors and how much they weighed.
The students were divided up into groups depending on how much casual sex they’d had. Then, after 15 years, they were weighed again and found that none of the groups, casual or otherwise, had weight gain to show for their dalliances. The researchers concluded that the lack of relationship between casual sex and weight gain was due in part to the fact that people tend to enjoy being sexually active without having sex for reasons other than weight gain.
The truth is, why would a woman be in the mood for casual sex if she doesn’t feel sexy?
“Self-concept appears to influence the likelihood of a person engaging in both casual sex and sexual activity (not including casual sex, of course) as well as weight and self-esteem,” the researchers reported. “There was no link between self-esteem and casual sex. Men were more likely than women to report casual sex and sexual activity.”
Basically, it’s the idea of “having it’ and feeling good enough about yourself to have the strength to say “Hell yeah, I’m going to go for it” that leads men to having sex. For women, though, it’s simply about feeling sexy.
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Of course, as the socially acceptable platform for sex has changed, the safety of casual sex has changed as well. Hookup culture had its first major shake-up in the late 1990s, when it was brought to the mainstream by Reality Bites star Jonathan Taylor Thomas, who revealed that he had casual sex with over a hundred different women (which was a significant amount at the time). Since then, the health and well-being of the casual sex community have been scrutinized.
Eeek.
OkCupid — the most popular dating app of all time — reports that dating apps have led to 2,600 reported cases of chlamydia and 1,300 cases of gonorrhea a year, and that one in ten of those happen in people who have never had sex. One study of 7,000 people by the Centers for Disease Control estimates that 50 million Americans over age 12 have had sexual contact with someone without using a condom, and 7.5 million Americans have had sex with someone they had just met online or elsewhere.
The fear is that sexually transmitted infections like chlamydia and gonorrhea, which can have no symptoms and have been a challenge for detection in the past, are easier to spread through casual sex. Since safe sex has become less common, condom use has started to fall, which means that casual sex could be a source of spread. People who engage in casual sex are also less likely to use protection overall, and are more likely to self-diagnose STIs, meaning that the rates of detection have been dropping as well. This pattern of infection has been found in over 10 studies.
While it’s certainly still encouraged to practice safe sex, you shouldn’t be afraid to go casual. In fact, it’s healthy.
Be honest about what you want
Do you want a booty call?
Many of the people who go to dating apps are looking for short-term fun, and that’s where the casuals come in. These apps are explicitly designed to act as a variety of speed-dating experiences, from micro-dating on Tinder to finding your one true love on Match. So if casual sex isn’t your thing, you’re not going to get what you want — or you’re just coming off of a breakup, and the idea of being in a relationship is… unpleasant. Even though you’re trying to date casually, this kind of situation can easily be a big turnoff — especially if you’ve been burned in the past.
The best thing you can do

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